Tuesday, June 7, 2011

About & Out

previous post: Family Flirtin’

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41 Comments

  1. Boring

  2. headache

  3. This taught me a lot. Most importantly, the only difference between Poms and Yanks is “wif” vs “wit”.

  4. I’ll never want to know how “hot dogs n shit” taste like… NEVER! This are probably MY “people” judging by the way they type and shit lol

  5. If you squint then it actually makes the posts clearer and easier to read.

    @yodawg
    So, you make fun of “hot dogs n shit” then say that they are probably your people based only on their typing skills and the way they defecate? Without a hint of irony? Really?

  6. “fina” is the only word i cant work out the meaning of. any help?

  7. #2 and #3: tl(and ridiculous);dr.

  8. pandainspandex

    @bradles finna=gonna
    Don’t ask me why.

  9. finna = fixing to = about to or going to

  10. I absolutely detest the typing that these weirdos think is cool. My wife’s cousins in Mexico type like that in Spanish, making it that much more difficult to figure out what the hell they are saying. I feel like Marlin, when he said, “It’s trying to speak to me, I just know it!” It seems to me that typing like that would take so much more effort than it should.

  11. i WiLl NoT eVeN bOtHeR tO rEaD pOsTs WhEn PeOpLe TyPe LiKe ThIs.

    Damn…that took way too much effort…

  12. I haven’t seen alternating caps since 2002 and I always attributed their use to people who took too much ecstasy.

  13. Yo’Landa, yo late fo’ yo English tutor ‘n shit.

  14. These entries made me cry on the inside for all of Black America.

  15. These entries made me weep for the future of the English language :(
    WHY would they waste so much time trying to type like epileptic monkeys?

  16. Ceci n'est pas un nom

    Rockstar, I literally lol’ed at your “epileptic monkeys”. Thank you for that.

  17. Holy Christ, I’m pro-choice now.

  18. It is ironic that yoyoyoyofofosholanda(whatever the hell her name is) called HER kid a mistake. bITCH n33Ds A look N D4 mUrror

  19. Best case scenario for Yo’Landa and Uhmazinq is that they both eventually make careers out of translating douche-bonics for concerned parents.

  20. Is there anyone out there who can provide a brief summary of that scrawl, my eyes simply refuse to even contemplate reading that bastardisation of the English language.

  21. *bastardization *sigh*

  22. Yup, I would have spelt it that way if I were American but I’m not, so I haven’t.

    *long drawn out sigh*

  23. Translation for the first, at least:

    I’m Yolandalicious so haters fuck off cuz’ you be jealous that I be the most bootylicious nigga out there. Back off bitches.

    What’s up girls and boys it’s yo-yo-yo-yo-fo-fo-fo-sholanda. I be rocking this bitch better than ever. I got so many haters but they just jealous of my natural booty. Sorry I meant beauty! Ha girl! Anyways I don’t play when it comes to my family. They always be there for me and there ain’t nothing that’s going to keep me away from them. I love my boy D4’Trone! He be the best to my little mistake Tyreque! Oh well if you want to be a part of this crazy life message me! A’ight Facebook I be out. I be pop lock n’ dropping down low for the men in the club. A’ight peace time to go eat some collared greens with Ta’Vonna and my cousin Xayvier!

    A’ights niggas well I be back. Anyways I am a real ass bitch that you not “fINa” mess with.

  24. I don’t know what “fiNa” stands for and I refuse to substitute ‘the’ with ‘da’.

  25. And the second: Hey-ooo. It’s amazing locita (dumb and inaccurate substitution for the Spanish ‘crazy’) kicking in… well I’m cute, cool and fun to hang out with… I’m funny and if you have a problem with me or my cousins Tiffany or Tony… Ya’ gonna get knocked out! (ellipses) I love you babe (date)… Don’t mess with me or ya’ gonna have a situation.

  26. Thanks. still a load of fucking immature ‘look at me’ bullshit whichever way you read it.

  27. @lexluther I don’t think irony is the best word,i think laughing at one’s self is sometimes good. Just cause they’re my people doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be funny to me. It’s 2011 dawg,where have you been since? As SOME of my people would say “Y u So sErioUz dAwg?!”

  28. If they talk like they type I bet they sound like a hair lipped whore with two grot spewing cocks in her mouth trying to gargle the national anthem.

    With writing like that they must be Emmental.

  29. @rockstar, that’s just mean to the epileptic monkeys. after all, if you put enough of them in a room with typewriters, they might not come up with shakespeare, but they’ll probably write Lost.

    And, does anyone else find it interesting that the major geek language of leetspeak has been usurped by the brain-dead, illiterates who would be happy beating the shit out of geeks?

  30. OMG. Yo’landa put a ‘q’ where there should have been a ‘g’!

  31. kissmewhereipee

    I just want to punch Yo’landa in the face.

  32. CommentsAtLarge

    @64th

    “fiNa” I think is supposed to be “finna” – it’s urban slang roughly meaning “about to”.

    So “that you not “fINa” mess with” would read “that you’re not about to mess with”.

  33. So. . . leetspeak and ebonics = leetbonics ?

    Spoken only by epileptic monkeys and syphilitic koala bears. And Yo’landa. Do you think she’s a good programmer ?

  34. @CommentsAtLarge
    I can now die peacefully, thank you.

  35. I refuse to learn stupid just to read this

  36. Agenda, I could not agree with you more. Some care to translate? Is anyone able to pull anything legible from this poor, mangled wreck of a ‘language’?

  37. I totally agree with the above post. I refuse to learn how to read that shit. I’m not sure how poeple learn to type like that in the first place.

  38. That thing bred? Have mercy on his soul!

  39. I speak jive, allow me to translate.

    “About
    Yo’Landa”
    My name is Yo’Landa, Cruz, so any and all dissenters are welcome to go fornicate with themselves. You are envious beyond reason, because I am, in all humility, free of imperfection and the epitome of form and beauty whilst being the proudest Nubian woman in the land .

    Ladies and gentlemen; greetings. My name is Yo’landa. I am the ideal image of today’s zeitgeist, perhaps in all of posterity. I have, in abundance, many detractors, but again, their envy has no measure, and unfortunately, they covet my amazing backside. My apologies, I’m referring to my aesthetic wonderment of course-wouldn’t you acknowledge that my female companion? But I digress, my purpose is to inform you that when concerned with my siblings and such, I will not be deterred in defending them. They stand behind me in dubious times, and I am committed to them as well.
    I am enamored with my companion Da”Trone. He is supremely personable to my wonderful but unplanned son Tyreque.
    If you think you would enjoy partaking in my dreams for the future and can maintain a good existence while doing so, I welcome you to notify me of same through the means of Facebook. I will always be dancing, partying, and occasionally, partaking in recreational illicit drugs with many African-American gentlemen at social gatherings. Alright?
    Peace be with you, it is approaching the dinner hour, and I am looking forward to ingesting Collard Greens with my sibling Ta’Vonna and my similarly descended from a common ancestor, Xayvier.
    Alright African-Americans, I have returned. I must remind you, I am an authentic woman that, please be warned, one mustn’t interfere with or suffer the devastating consequences.

  40. @amishmime, FTW.

  41. Haha shes single I wonder why lmao she got one kid and a “mistake” n she can’t spell right n well idk this chick is all out weird

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