Friday, July 30, 2010

A Simple Status Says It All

previous post: Shameful Snaps

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45 Comments

  1. where’s mario and dreddy when you need him

  2. Love the gay one.

  3. Mean?

    Anyway, that’s been around for a while.

  4. I guess some people dont take health advice that well ;-)

  5. Nice ones. I don’t get the sponges one, though.

  6. Yeah, I don’t get why the sponge one is lame? It’s just kind of random.

  7. dietpillpyramidscheme

    She’s either really dense, or making a joke. As strangers, we can’t know.

  8. (Dish) Sponges are absorbent.
    That was pretty funny. :)

  9. If you’re going to rip off a dead comedian (Mitch Hedberg), you should probably at least understand why it was funny in the first place. The sponges line isn’t funny because of what he said – it’s how he said it.

  10. I hope Daniel’s a dude. What an awful way to spell Danielle.

  11. OH fuck, I’m an idiot. I got my laconic, drug-abusing, one-line-master comedians confused. The sponge quote was Steven Wright, not Mitch Hedberg. One could see how I could do that, though.

  12. Oh, Tyson… You have to be more subtle. Tell her to roll down the stairs in a barrel like you did when you were kids. It’s all the fun of nostalgia without the awkward imagery!

  13. The tyson one almost had me in tears. The sponge one was meh..the first one was obvious..and while on the subject I remember when Vampires were deadly and wanted to suck your blood. Now all you see are a bunch of bitches runnin around fuckin dead people. the FUCK is wrong with ya’ll? they are vampires! they arent cute and cuddly.

  14. CommentsAtLarge

    Answer to the sponge one: deep enough to cause an apocalyptic flood. I’m sure we’ll be seeing that movie soon, brought to you by the producers of “The Day After Tomorrow” and “2012″…

  15. yeah, the mean one was from zach galafanakis

  16. Mocking Twilight is now OFFICIALLY less original, less smart, and far, far more lame and retarted than Twilight itself.

    Typing out jokes from other people (Steven Wright) and not even bothering to mention who came up with it is equally lame.

  17. If the best e-mail her boyfriend has ever sent her is one saying ‘I had my knob out last night’, I feel sorry for her. I get those from my girlfriend all the time, they’re nothing special, right?

  18. “Mean” (who names their kid that?) def stole that from ZG.

  19. I guess everyone’s a whore today.

  20. So if I’m reading these statuses correctly, Stephanie Meyers is a feminist whose next book will have Vampire Guy giving Wolf Guy a sponge bath to erase the memory of knocking up Vapid Girl by way of teabagging? Just the thought of it made me spontaneously purge my uterus.

  21. Gee, the sponges post is REAL original – I have a post-it pad at my beach house with that QUOTE on it …. so relieved to know who the true author is now.

  22. Mitch Hedberg is dead? damn

  23. “Feminism” is one of the worst things to ever happen to this country. It undercuts the Christian values of this country. The Bible is quite clear about the difference between the roles for men and women in society. “Feminism” while trying to teach equality and respect actually destroys the distinction between the gender roles that the Creator has laid out for us. To be clear, all women are equal to men in the eyes of God but destroying the natural order of things (i.e. women going to work while leaving their children with day care or with their husbands at home) is an abomination. There is a great book called “A Woman After God’s Own Heart” which teaches women the importance of following God’s plan.

    As found in Ephesians 5:21:

    Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

    Also in Peter 3:7

    Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

  24. @dan_fargis : Christianity is one of the worst things to ever happen to this country. You’re a brainwashed blowhard if you think that men and women shouldn’t be treated with equality because of a few quotes in a fucking book. The bible is a joke, it’s fear mongering; Christianity and the bible were created to scare people into submitting, to scare people into being blind sheep.

  25. Looks like this is true:

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fargis

    Fargis FTL!

  26. if life is so sacred, and we can’t create life without women, and women can’t create life without a man; in my eyes we’re all equal.

  27. dan_fargis is frodo.

  28. bwaaaaaahchachacha @ slurpee. That is fucking amazing.

  29. People who continue to get into religious arguments with Dan Fargis are worse than Frodo. They’re… the other one. The chubby guy.

  30. The bible truly was written by a bunch of sexist mother fuckers who don’t know shit about anything. the whole book is a joke. trust me, i would know, i went to a lutheran school for 7 years and had to study it every day. then switched to public school and realized how i had been brainwashed all that time..

  31. Exodus 2:11-12 And it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown, that he went out unto his brethren, and looked on their burdens: and he spied an Egyptian smiting an Hebrew, one of his brethren.
    And he looked this way and that way, and when he saw that there was no man, he slew the Egyptian, and hid him in the sand.

    Translation:
    And it so happened on that day when a post mentioning feminism appeared on Lamebook that Tazinijif went out onto Lamebook and looked out over the posts: and she spied a self righteous pillock smiting women, her brethren.

    And she looked this way and that way, and when she saw everyone agreed she slew the self-righteous pillock, and hid him in the sand.

    If the bible says it, I guess I should just do it, anyone want to help? ;0)

  32. Holy shit, fargis. Your trolling got you an entry in urbandictionary. Your mother must be so proud.

    As far as the above posts go:

    1) Consult with the Hobo in Comment #16…

    2) As long as the testicles in question weren’t in Louise’s sister’s, mother’s, or brother’s mouth, the boyfriend is probably safe.

    3) Old to the point of now being completely unfunny.

    4) Dumb. Probably the author of several kitchen/sandwich jokes.

    5) The one bit of funny in an otherwise lame post. Go, Tyson…

  33. That is a trolling win for fargis!

  34. ALL NONBELIEVERS SHALL PERISH!!!

  35. ^Groupie.

  36. Banahm 1:1: And Banahm said ” Let lighting shoot from the sky and hit all trolls squarely in the head”.

  37. @Rationaleyes..do u not realize by now that fargis is masquerading as a Christian to get people to hate us real Christians? And u think we are the ones who can’t think 4 ourselves…open urself up to the truth.

  38. Oh Tyson, yes, yes it is a good way to be deleted. But you should be happy with that. She obviously doesn’t have any sense of humor. What a bitch.

  39. Christianity is not “the truth”, it’s a crutch for the weak and gullible.

  40. Fargis, does the bible say anything about sponges? Can’t get why you got so fired up about feminism when we had sponges to talk about too… my 2 cents.

  41. @icedcoffee : I really don’t care if he is pretending to be Christian so people hate ‘real Christians’… I stick by my point of view. It’s not like I am ignorant enough to think that all Christians have the same point of view as ‘Fargis’; I simply replied to his ignorant post, then talked about how I feel about Christianity itself. Even without the ‘extremists’(using that term loosely) in Christianity I still have the same outlook on it; bullshit.

  42. dietpillpyramidscheme

    Icedcoffee, if you judge homosexuals, rally against abortion, would be comfortable with state school curriculums being polluted by creationist garbage, etc, etc; you are NO BETTER than Fargis’ character.

    If you don’t do any of the above, and your beliefs aren’t rooted in fearmongering, oppression and hatred, then Fargis is not a charicature of you.

    Fargis isn’t real, but his character is. There are countless religious fanatics who are just like him, and when said nutjobs get into positions of power, they, with the backing of their church have been responsible for countless atrocities.

    *sorry for the typos.

  43. I can’t believe someone is getting internet fame for basically pretending to be a christian nutcase!

  44. I don’t get the last one… :-S

  45. @44,people used to use coat hangers to give themselves abortions,or at least its a common joke t use when talking about abortions ,an abortion would be a great way to get rid of morning sickness,i suppose.

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