Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A Couple Quickies



previous post: Air It Out



  1. erne is a girl? what a stupid name.

  2. Wheres Boz at these days?

  3. Holy hell indeed Matt. But god bless him, he made me giggle!

  4. @Zephum, yeah it is. It’s pronounced er-nay. I know…

  5. i used to want a snuggie until i read matt’s post;
    now i want a dress.

  6. Please, God, let Kortnee’s thread be some poor imitation of the Mark Twain-style vernacular. Please don’t let this be the way people are expressing themselves in real life…

  7. also, ‘kortnee’!

    might this herald, with clarion-call, the advent of a new trend for phonetic spelling of names?
    what might the future hold?


    perhaps in the future there won’t even BE spelling, or words or letters. language has expanded as far as it can, and now we’re heading towards some linguistic and etymological big tear….

    just a thought.

    i want a snuggie.

  8. What is a “nigga erne”?

  9. I agree with alordslums
    LOL MAI NAYME IS PINK BROK-UH-LEE… Ouch… just ouch…
    I think a few of my brain cells dies when I read Kortnee’s post.

    And Matt is a fookin’ psycho.

  10. *dieD!! SEE, SEE THEY DID!

  11. My niece is named Karea. You pronounce it the same as you would Cara. People are taking massive liberties with the spelling of names. She has a sister Kostantine and one named Danika. I have normal names for my kids and still need to spell them because people assume everyone has creative names for their kids.

  12. any luck matt is talking about kortnee, camry or danielle and one or hopefully all will be dead soon

  13. I knew a Camry once. She was a good car until she developed an oil leak and the engine seized up. She was never quite the same after that.

  14. So I take it erne is a black person?

  15. Status updates like Kortnee’s probably would have been pretty common had Facebook been around, oh, about 150 years ago.

  16. lol @ above.

  17. Ooo

  18. Brandy Alexander, okay, I understand that “cuntas” is supposed to say tuna, but what about the rest of it?

  19. only blacks wud spell Courtney, “kortnee”

  20. @brandy alexander:

    ‘two for you and two for me, yum yum!’

  21. I’m confused as to how someone could fuck up ‘tuna’ but be able to spell mayonnaise? I’m confused.

    @ alordslums, what would shorn be phonetic for?

  22. I think “Shawn”. I worked in a place where people were routinely named creatively and/or phonetically. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen kids named Wander (Wanda), Loosy (Lucy), Pall, Yahiness (Your Highness – not kidding), Even(Evan), Ka-dey’sha (what’s with the symbols?), La-a (La DASH a – also not kidding)…

  23. Matt is one fucked up SOB

  24. People who give their kids “creatively spelled” names should be thrown in front of a bus.

  25. Jordon is trying to get attention there, and he gets it.

    Danielle has a point.
    wat she mean erne missing
    n r Kortnee n Kemri Camry lyk… related?

  26. what?

  27. This is fake

  28. LOL matt…

    and i guess erne is missing.

  29. I want Matt’s babies.

  30. Apparently Erne was the girl who turned down Matt in high school. She is now a poorly crafted caftan.

  31. Squid made me spit water on my monitor.
    Thanks much!

  32. @21 – It confused me as well, until I remembered some areas have an accent where people pronounce things like “wash” as “warsh.” I am thinking it is Shawn? :P

  33. I have to admit – Matt does sound alot like Buffalo Bill – been watching too much Silence of the Lambs, have we?? :P

  34. Matt just gave me an ideal newyears resolution.

  35. Matt and his “tandroms” … all because he doesn’t have a pool.

  36. Not the first time I’ve posted this here, but if the cap fits:

  37. @Lajeve #29
    Matt says you can’t have his babies – he’s making slippers . . .

    Also “Lajeve” – is that pronounced ‘lah-jah-vay’ or ‘lah-jeev’?

    Just askin’ . . .

  38. Mercure is wearing a jacket fashioned out of the skins of Flecxo, psuiu, and cumdawgmillonaire while he prepares for his New Years Eve celebration.

    It feels good. Have a good night tonight all you crazy, crazy diamonds.

  39. Matt definitely has a pool.


  41. Matt does have a pool, that’s where he murders his victims

  42. I like turtles.

  43. I think I’d like to make a turtle-neck jumper out of zombie kid too.

  44. DaysWithDave is Frodo.

  45. I recently came across a child whose name is G-zus. Seriously?

  46. Coming across children can lead to serious jail time.

  47. @Sensible Madness

    Is that a chinese proverb? It sounds like one… maybe a “Confuscious says” situation?

  48. I would have thought shawn was phonetic enough for sean. As for creg that would be an American name only I think because in the UK at least we actually say craig or possibly crayg

  49. roxy, i realise this – i’m also from the uk – my post was a sickening attempt to pander to the english language neophytes from across the pond.
    notice how no-one got ‘shorn’?

    NYE pool party @ matt’s house?

  50. When I was first reading this, I thought “erne” was meant to be “urn”,and about how do you lose something like that? I guess I’m just too white. Also I’m positive that I’ve heard what Matt said before… maybe in a movie or something.

  51. she missin

  52. While I am a dick and enjoy racist jokes, Shawn isn’t just a ghetto name Roxy. Everyone I know named Shawn is white >< But I still love you.

  53. Don’t forget that there’s Shawn AND Shaun =)

  54. matt is frodo?

  55. @cherylface
    I think “cuntas” is supposed to be contains. I guess the sandwich contains mayonnaise and (rac)coon.

  56. what do you suppose the chances are that Matt is currently wearing Erne as a dress? Something to maybe look into as a possible lead?

  57. @56: see 30

    i think we’re a long way past the first 48 anyhow.

  58. Shawn + Shaun = Sha-nay-nay

  59. svetlana,
    Just to soothe your ego from an earlier mishap….

    have a look back at these comments :P

  60. @ heyTeach

    her name is la-a
    Pronounced ladasha,
    when someone asked her why it’s said that way she yell’s at them

    “cos the DASH don’t be silent!”

    I got that one in an email. haha

  61. @ 55.autumnberg
    Didn’t realise we had a moron in this thread,

    The word ‘cuntas’ was meant to be ‘contains’ and the word ‘coon’ was meant to be ‘tuna’ because she/he was trying to spell tuna with a CH and not a T. If you had read the comments below, all of the misunderstanding could have been avoided.


  62. Antarctic Circle

    @ Kaoss (#61)

    You’re right, but keep in mind those comments were posted very recently, possibly after autumnberg looked at the page.

  63. To the people who didn’t get ‘Shorn’ as phonetic for ‘Sean’ or ‘Shawn’, does that mean the Wallace and Gromit joke about Shawn the Sheep doesn’t work in America?

  64. Wallis and Gromit?

  65. the kortnee one is too fucking funny

  66. Ah, I guess Wallace & Gromit just don’t translate to across the pond

  67. Who knows? I’m from the UK too and was just taking the piss lol

  68. @ Antarctic Circle

    True! My bad!
    I am the moron in this thread then!


  69. Guys, can we get past Erne’s name? The important facts here are:

    a) she our nigga and
    b) she missin.

  70. 61: Ah, that makes MUCH more sense. I was thrown off by the fact that the only two things that were really mentioned in the caption were tuna and cuntas. I assumed they were supposed to go together.

  71. Chinchillazilla, may I convey my (muted, given the dire circumstances) congratulations at what is a very funny post.

  72. …I’ll wear your skin a suit, pretend to be you, your friends will like you more than they used to…

  73. Lamebook is dead

  74. There’s nothing to get or not get about saying shorn is phonetic for Shawn, that’s just a matter of pronunciation in different areas.

  75. *facepalm* for chiro – the joke in wallace and gromit is that the sheep is called shaun. phonetically in english this is ‘shorn’ – and what is a sheep that has had its wool cut off? – shorn. god, why am i explaining this. very, very slow day.

  76. ahem, *eyeroll* for alordslums. By definition, “phonetic” depends, as chiiro correctly pointed out, on the area. So “phonetically in english” is not necessarily ‘shorn,’ not even in England. Wallace and Grommit, while funny, includes many jokes that don’t translate well outside the UK. I imagine many American, Australian, etc cult faves suffer the same fate.

  77. This comment box never fails to entertain me. UPDATES PLZ. I wonder if she still missin…

  78. Christ on a cracker

    Aww poor nigga. It’s hard for a nigga out there, and now nigga is missing. Nigga, this sucks.

    Y’ll wrong, nigga erne is no cunt, she’s a BITCH as in canine. B.I.T.CH! Learn it, mothafuckers!!!LOLz

  79. @76: i have read and re-read and can’t understand the basis of your eyeroll – i understand more than the mere fundaments of phonetics – i’ve studied spondees and dactyls in horace’s odes!!! my post considered chiiro’s effort as a direct response to post 63: in that context his post makes no direct assertion of the ‘essential’ definition of phonetics, working singly within the context of the former post, he just didn’t realise the joke inherent in the name of shaun the sheep (a sheep being shorn).


  80. Shaun is only a ghetto name with a prefix; Le Shaun, D’Shaun, LaShaunda.

  81. Antarctic Circle

    Jelly, you always have me drilling with laughter (poor pun, sorry) – just couldn’t help snorting at the “LaShaunda”!

  82. alordslums, I wasn’t referring to the Wallace and Gromit joke, I was referring to your post #49, when you said ‘notice how no one got shorn?’ which was said before Roxy asked if that meant that people outside of the UK didn’t get the W & G joke.

  83. Matt has serious mommy/abandonment issues.

    I can relate Kortnee, I am lost without mine. Nah, JK, I let all mines go years ago when some dumb*ss tole me slavery was outlawed.

  84. Matt sounds like he’s channelling Buffalo Bill from Silence of the lambs.
    And what’s wrong with that?

  85. so there was a Celica a few weeks back, and now a Camry. I’m guessing their cousins are Corolla, fo’runna, and Avalon.

  86. Fo’runna, LOL! Maybe a rich aunt Lexus, too.

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