Archive for April, 2020

Love And Lost

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Highlander Josh

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Lost In Space

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Lashing Out

THEORY OF THE DAY: Jack-in-the-box toys are meant to train kids to become adults who don’t jump in fear when the toaster pops your bread up. It didn’t work, right? Does everyone jump when the toaster pops your bread up? Someone needs to invent a toaster that silently pops, so we can feel tough while eating a Toaster Strudel.

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Bird Brain

Do you ever have conversations with yourself that escalate in self-sabotage right after your alarm goes off?

Like, “Just snooze for 9 more minutes.”

Then, “Just sleep for 30 more mins, you can be late to work.”

Then, “Just skip work.”

Then, “Just quit your job.”

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Green Without Envy

Everyone makes fun of people who say their kids’ age in months. “Our sweet son is named Thermometer and he’s 28 months old.” Once a girl said her dog was 17 months old. Everyone hates it. Not us, we respect it. Sometimes I forget how old I am in YEARS, let alone months. Most of the time, we can’t remember what day of the week it is, let alone the age of a Corgi in months. In conclusion, don’t name your son Thermometer.

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