Archive for April, 2020

Raw Deal

Let’s hope people have said, “Can you come help me paint my House?” to Hugh Laurie, and when he got there they covered him in paint. If not, we should do that. (Hugh Laurie was the star of “House” so, yes, this is amazing)

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Smooth Horoscope

QUARANTINE FACT OF THE DAY – Experts say breakfast is the 6th most important meal of the day during a quarantine. As we all know, each quarantine day consists of 14 meals.

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Sexy Coverage

The quarantine is forcing a lot of time with whoever you live with. Yesterday, my girlfriend asked, “Would you like me if I was a boy?” Hypothetical questions ALWAYS go well, right? I said, “Yeah, of course. I like you no matter what,” hoping that would end the conversation. Then she said, “Would you kiss me if I was a boy?” and I silently just stood up and went on a 3 hour walk by myself.

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Total Rights

If you’ve gone on walks during the quarantine, have you noticed everyone is waving at each other? It’s great. The number of dad jokes have skyrocketed. One dude was standing by a random shopping cart on the street and yelled “you want to buy a shopping cart? I’ve got a great model right here!” I yelled back, “I would, but I’ve got three at home!” No idea where that response came from. This quarantine is impacting all of us differently.

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Ghost Story

In some states in America, they are reopening a few non-essential businesses. What are they opening??? Movie theaters. So, in case you’ve been bored sitting at home watching movies, you can now go down the street and pay $15 to watch a movie. Either way, stay and wait until doctors say it’s okay to go outside and rewatch all the Harry Potter movies.

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Taste The Pain

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